Despite what you see on TV and in movies, having sex for the first time is rarely romantic, pleasant, or sexy. Sure, it can be—in theory. It was with my boyfriend on our one-year anniversary. My anxiety got the best of me, and I freaked out and told him to stop after the first thrust. Plus, I was the first one of my friends to have sex, so no one could tell me what to expect. A week later, we did it for real, and I felt cool for finally doing it. I wasn't even sure if I truly liked the guy, but I did feel pressured. It happened very quickly and hurt. When I got home, I took a bubble bath and then cried myself to sleep.
There is no one definition of virginity. Others may define virginity as never engaging in vaginal penetration with a penis, despite having had other types of sex, including oral stimulation and anal penetration. Some people may no longer call themselves a virgin after engaging in anal penetration or penetration with a finger or sex toy.
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If you buy something through a link on this page, we may earn a small commission. How this works. Losing your virginity is a unique experience. It can be hard to know just what to expect. What will it feel like, when should you do it, and how can you stay safe during your first time? Whatever definition people use, many feel anxious about having sex for the first time. This concern is totally normal, but rumors and myths that circulate among friends and on the internet can create unnecessary fears.